


Paralyzing Enormity

by AsheTarasovich (natalieashe), Boffin1710



Series: Can't Drown My Demons, They Know How To Swim [33]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Angst, Fear, M/M, The things we don't say, Unknown Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 01:08:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalieashe/pseuds/AsheTarasovich, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boffin1710/pseuds/Boffin1710
Summary: When you can't move for fear you will topple into the abyss.





	Paralyzing Enormity

Q looks like shit, swathed in a throw blanket, curled against the arm of the sofa. His laptop is open on the side table and his body is twisted to see the scrolling streams of data that he understands but are incomprehensible to Alec.

Alec is watching football. Or pretending to, at least. Instead he keeps casting worried glances at his young lover, who had slept about eight hours in the last seventy two. Alec can see the strain in his red-rimmed sore eyes and the tremor in his hands. And the fact he hasn't noticed Alec watching him and snarled. He wishes James was home. He's so much better at teasing out Q's dark moods. But James has been gone ten days now, and Alec has watched Q slowly unravel for nine of them.

Q would close his eyes but knows if he does he will still see the code and the data and the to do list that never quite gets done. And the other streams of information of his own creation, gleaned from medical journals, support sites and the bigger, more significant to do list... His email pings and he distracts himself with that.

Alec had listened to Q's rant about "Mallory's fucking email about budgets" until the dark haired man stopped abruptly, mid-sentence. He gave a small sound of distress and stared unseeing at the television. Cautiously Alec wrapped his arms around Q's tense skinny body, drawing him against his chest, relieved as Q relaxed by increments until Alec thought he had finally succumbed to sleep.

"Sometimes I look at what's to come, and the enormity of it is paralysing." Q tilts his head to meet Alec's eyes, checking he has heard.

Alec knows that feeling. The one where all of the breath in your body seems to be sucked away and there's a sharp pain in your chest, and moisture gathering in the corner of your eyes... You can't move for fear you will topple into the abyss. Can't breathe past the pain. It lasts only moments but it strikes unpredictably.

"We're not there yet." Alec kisses Q's brow softly and sighs. They cling to each other until the moment passes, relaxing into the comfort of being together. Wherever 'there' is, they will face it head on.


End file.
